» THE DAILY FUNNIES

[MAKEMDEAD]

OLD VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer
long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and
plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed..
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold..

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!




MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building
his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances
and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference
and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well
fed while others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of
the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable
home with a table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor
grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody
cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'
Acorn stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house
where the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.'
Rev. Jeremiah Wright then has the group kneel down to pray to God for
the grasshopper's sake.
Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King
that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both
call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper
Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green
bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is
confiscated by the Government Green Czar.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits
of the ants food while the government house he is in, which just happens
to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain
it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the
house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the
once peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2010.

[Detmurds]

[Detmurds]